What is love?

"If human love does not carry a man beyond himself, it is not love. If love is always discreet, always wise, always sensible and calculating, never carried beyond itself, it is not love at all. It may be affection, it may be warmth of feeling, but it has not the true nature of love in it." ~ Oswald Chambers from My Utmost for His Highest

Back at it again today. The Lord has been working me over pretty good these past couple weeks, exposing just how deep my selfishness runs. It is a wonderfully terrifying experience, I'd highly recommend it.

With some friends last week we read this excerpt in light of the experience Jesus had in Luke 7, when Simon the Pharisee invites him over for a meal. Perhaps you remember the story - Jesus enters the house and is seated at the table. From the moment he comes in, a woman is weeping at his feet, wetting them with her tears and drying them with her hair. She's brought a jar of perfume and with it she annoints Jesus' feet. All the while, the crowd and Simon are wondering what He's doing allowing this woman to touch him. Jesus, knowing this, tells Simon this story:

“Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”

“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.

Jesus goes on to tell Simon: "...whoever has been forgiven little loves little." Simon steps into a question that I don't know he's ready to answer -- what's he been forgiven of? This is not a comfortable question...I know, from experience. Once again I was confronted with this question --- How much have I been forgiven?

I've grown up in the church, hearing about grace and forgiveness, sin and repentance, heaven and hell all of my life. In some ways I've become innoculated to these words, to these ideas, and I find myself trying to remember what exactly it was that Jesus saved me from in the first place. I'm a good guy, I pay my taxes and work hard at my job. I love my family and I'm faithful to my wife. I go to church every Sunday and help people when I can. I don't need that much forgiveness right? At least not compared to some other folks I know.

Ahhh, and there it is. Once again I'm exposed. It's about me again, what I've done or what I can do. I feel a little kinship with Simon. My guess is that he was a more moral person than I - the Pharisees were VERY serious about keeping the law - every last letter. But when I read this story I imagine that I might have acted very similarly. When I read Luke 7 (it may just be me) I sense in Simon a genuine interest in Jesus. So much so that he invited Jesus over to get a closer look at his life, to ask him questions and listen to his answers. And perhaps lost in this infatuation he'd forgotten to give Jesus the simple dignity of a proper welcome or hospitality befitting of a rabbi. What can you do for me here Jesus, how can you improve my life? And all the while the power of Jesus is being displayed in the life of this woman whom he only sees as interference to what he's really after.

Jesus, as he does so often, tells a simple story and blows up Simon's world (mine too). I'm still working on the particulars and how they fit together....all I know is that I'm cut to the heart again. He who has been forgiven little, loves little. Is that really me? Do I really believe I need Jesus (do I love Him) or am I just looking to pick up a few extra tips on how to live a Godly life so that when I die God "has" to let me in to heaven? Ouch. I have a feeling this one's going to sting for awhile.