Another birthday!

Looks like right now all I"m good for is posting b-day stuff. Well, I'll try to do better in the future. Anyway, I have two birthday updates --- Hallie is 2 and Gabe is 4! Here are a few pics from our adventures, enjoy!

Happy Birthday Indeed!

I've been laughing about this for a couple days now so I need to share this. Do you know what Gabe's favorite part of his birthday this year? It wasn't the presents, not the cupcakes (which were amazing) and not all of his buddies coming over to celebrate with him. The best part, far and away, simply no contest, was to have us sing Happy Birthday to him. We must have done it 15 times on his actual birthday, and somewhere around that number the next day when we had his party. At one point when he had about 3 presents to open, he had us stop and sing Happy Birthday to him between opening each present. It was hilarious! If you don't believe, just check out the video below (the camera doesn't lie)!!

Click To Play

Trust and obey

There's an old hymn that I've been going over in my mind the last couple weeks and I can't seem to shake it:

Trust and obey
for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus
than to trust and obey

Ever heard it? I imagine that if you're like me and grew up in the C of C, you've heard it a hundred times. I must confess, I've never really been a fan of the tune. I don't know why, perhaps because it was too slow? I know that's a really stupid and childish reason not to like a song, but it's about all I can come up with. Anyway, I never really listened to the words, never requested it at the Sunday night sing alongs, and I always sighed loudly when someone else did.

Well, ever since the end of March, this song has been following me around. I heard a speaker on campus at Rez Week (a week long outreach event sponsored by a number of the Christian groups at UT). The speaker (Jason Ma) challenged us on obeying Jesus, giving our lives 100% to him and actually doing what he tells us to do, not worrying about the outcome. Not a new lesson, not a new idea, not a new sermon. A very good one, but one I (and perhaps you too) have heard a thousand times. And yet it was like I was hearing it for the first time.

Trust God and obey what He calls you to do, it's the only way to be happy. This is not sitting well with me these days. I don't often connect or think about my happiness having anything to do with my obedience to Christ; if anything, it's more likely the other way around --- I ask Christ to provide for me, help me, do what I ask --- and when He doesn't "come through", I am not happy.

And so this song has been playing in my head:

Trust and obey
for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus
than to trust and obey

3 years and counting...

Today Gabe turned 3 years old. Hard to believe but it's happened. Gabe, you are a blessing and a joy to us. We are constantly amazed at how much you learn, how precious and tender your heart is, and how kind and gentle you are with your sister and other friends, even when they don't respond inkind. I love you son, I'm so very proud of you, and I count it pure joy to be given the gift of being your Daddy!

A lonely road...

There is perhaps not a more difficult topic to deal with in the world today than the problem of pain. Why do bad things happen? Why do kids suffer? Why do natural disasters ravage communities and take lives? If God is loving and caring, why would he allow these things to happen?

I guess right now I still have more questions than answers. I've been thinking about this because our church, during this season of Lent, has been reflecting on the story in the gospel of Luke of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. Last week our focus was on verses 25-27 of chapter 24:

He (Jesus) said to them, "How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?" And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

Jesus, though they didn't recognize it was him at the time, explained why he had to suffer and die on the cross and how Scripture from the begining had pointed toward this. It got us talking about the suffering that we face in the world today and why that is. We spoke about suffering for making bad decisions, suffering for someone else's bad decisions, and then suffering that seems to be for no apparent reason at all.

Interestingly enough, the next day this same conversation came up in another circle of friends of mine to which one person referenced the story in John 9 about the man born blind and Jesus' disciples asking him (Jesus) about who sinned to cause the suffering in the man's life, his parents or him? Jesus said that niether his parents' nor his sin caused this, but it happened so that the work of God would be shown through his life.

So that got me thinking about whether I really believed that. Not did I believe Jesus' words, but did I believe my friend's interpretation of Jesus' words. Or maybe it was about believeing Jesus' words. Do I believe what he said, that God allowed this to happen so that His work might be displayed in this man's life?

On one hand, I can easily say yes to this question. I've experienced struggles in my life that I did not cause, they simply happened to me and I had to deal with them. Going through them has made me stronger, wiser, perhaps at times cynical, but I really think in the long run they have inspired a great amount of personal growth.

But then there are things that happen that I don't know what to do with. Things not necessarily to me, but they happen to other people, and it doesn't make much sense. Take for example this --- I'm listening to the radio today and I hear about a women who has entered into a contract with her boyfriend, a contract that says he can have sex with her 15 year old daughter while she (the mom) recovers from her surgery and can't have sex with him. She does this why? Because she's afraid she'll lose her boyfriend. What's in it for the daughter? Well, she gets to stay out late, gets some extra allowance, as well as she can spend a few nights over at her boyfriends house. As you can imagine, this thing ends because the daughter ends up attempting suicide twice, spends a few weeks in a psychiatric hospital, and will be in therapy for who knows how long trying to figure things out. Now what in the world is that about?

All I can think about is why? Why does this happen? The John 9 reference my friend made doesn't seem to make much sense to me here. I mean I know that she's experiencing the consequences of terrible decisions and choices the adults in her life made. But why does she have to deal with it in the first place? I hear the usual answers in my head that I've heard since I was a kid, but they're not very helpful.

I believe that God is a God of grace and love and hope. I believe that Jesus desperately cared for people, so much so that he was willing to die for them. I believe that only he is the way, the truth, and the life. Though I must admit, it's in times like this that I wish I could have been on that road to Emmaus. Do you ever feel that way?

365 Days and counting...

It's hard to believe that "Hawwie D" (as she's affectionately known by Gabe) is already a year old today. It seems like it was just yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital. Times seems to fly, especcially ith the second kiddo. She's made some pretty amazing strides, especially over the past 2 months. She's on the verge of her first word and she's already taken her first step...looking foward to the next one!

Hallie, we love you sweet girl, and we pray that your loving spirit and tender heart will continue to shine through, and that you and Gabe have a blast together tag-teaming your mom and me this next year.

Father, thank you for this precious little one, in whom we find so much joy. We love her and commit to raising her to know and love you!

Can you smell the rubber burning?

A lot has been rolling around in the old noggin' lately and nothing seems to be coming together. I was hoping to use this season of Lent as a way to get back in the grove of journaling and reflecting on life and yet each time I stop to write I can't seem to sit still long enough to express a thought.

I've been reading an amazing book called Banker to the Poor, the story of Muhammed Yumus, the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize winner. If you haven't read it I'd highly reccommend it to you. It's stirred a lot of questions in me, and surprised me by it's simplicity and boldness.

I've been thinking about the vision and direction of our ministry, where God wants us to go and what He is wanting me to do. I've been thinking about this series we're studying with our college students focused on putting others first. I'm reminded each week when I stand up to teach of how much more I need the lessons than they do.

I've been wondering why it is that there seems to be a saturation point when it comes to growing up in the church. You kind of hit this level to where you've been around long enough to hear most of the stories and sing most of the songs so that the new stuff is never really that new and the old stuff is taken for granted. I wonder why it is that I want to expect more from those who have been around the church the longest but what I find is that it's often those folks that have the most demands and complaints. I guess that's a pretty serious generalization, perhaps unfair, but it sure feels that way a lot right now.

I'm also wondering if what I gave up for Lent is really something that I wanted to sacrifice to God and give to Him as an offering or if I'm doing it because it's a convenient thing to give up because I'm wanting to get back in shape and stop eating like I'm invincible.

Well, I guess that's about it for now. What are you thinking about these days?

But we had hoped...

I was reading at the end of Luke's gospel, the story of the walk to Emmaus. I'm struck by the disciples response when they first encounter Jesus (his identity is hidden from their sight). As they're telling him about what's been happening in Jerusalem the past 3 days, they say:

"Are you only a visitor to Jerusalem and do not know the things that have happened there in these days?"

"What things?" he (Jesus) asked.

"About Jesus of Nazareth," they replied. "He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. "

Have you ever hoped for something that didn't happen? Something really big? Something that you were about to lay it all on the line for, and then it blows up in your face, or, perhaps worse, just vanishes into thin air? Kind of leaves you feeling breathless, speechless, shocked, frustrated, angry, sad, etc. For a while at least.

Feels like I've had a couple of these punches to the gut the last couple weeks and I'm struggling to regain my breath. I'm not sure what all is happening, not sure what's going to happen in the days to come, I'm a bit unsettled. I can really identify with the two guys in this passage. I've been hoping, and at least right now it looks like things are not what I thought they'd be. I know in comparison to many others, my problems are momentary and light, and I agree with that. I guess this is just my way of getting it off my chest.

I look forward to the rebuke and teaching of Christ in the coming days and weeks. I look forward to some "table time" with the Lord, when my heart begins to burn once again as I hear about the Kingdom and life within it. So, I guess I'm hoping once again...

A Wintry day in Austin!!

Well, with a little ice, snow, and frozen grass, we had a lot of fun!

Merry Christmas!!

May your holiday season be full of joy and peace. Much love and best wishes!

My 1st Vlog --- A Day @ home with Dad

I know you are but what am I?

I've been thinking about something a friend of mine said the other day --- "Christianity is not a vehilce to a better life for me." He used this phrase when describing a self-revelation he'd recently had about his life up to this point, even his decision to follow Christ (how will this make my life better?). I was blown away by his honesty; first, because this is one of the most humble people I know & second, because I had this sudden vision of myself while he was talking. I know, I know, how selfish of me to have a vision of myself when my friend is sharing that he struggles with pride. Ironic isn't it? You don't know the half of it!

Anyway, back to me, these words have been following me around the last few days. It's got me thinking about why I'm following Christ. It's got me thinking about why I would encourage another person to follow Christ. It's got me thinking about why I should be following Christ, or at least why I shouldn't.

How can following Him be about Him if it's about what it will do for me? Shouldn't it be about what it will do for Him?

Here's what I know so far: following Jesus begins with laying down your crown and picking up a cross, surrendering your will to His will, allowing His life to be your life. A simple start, or at least so I think, and yet somehow the crown keeps getting reattached to my head. It seems that this "vehicle", I've never thought of it that way, has gotten me pretty far in life, and yet at the same time, it's never arrived at a satisfying destination. I don't end up where I want to be. Do you ever feel that way? But here I go again with all the "me" stuff. That may be the key right there.

I guess the thing that bothered me the most about what my friend said the other night, is that it got me thinking that the Jesus that I've been following lately looks way too much like me, and I don't like it.

8 years and counting...

My wife and I celebrated our 8th anniversary tonight. It doesn't feel like 8 years; in fact, it's gone by so fast that it's hard to believe that it's even been that long. I am so blessed to have the most loving, wonderful, and beautiful wife. She's patient and full of grace, an amazing mother to our two children, and always there to encourage me whenever I'm down. I love you K!

So hard

Why do we make simple things hard? I've been thinking about this question lately as it seems to be a recurring one in my life. Instead of making a simple choice and being content with it, I get greedy or needy or insecure and make a harder choice which ultimately ends leaving me stressed out, frustrated, and/or unfulfilled.

It makes me think of Jesus' words about not worrying about tomorrow because tomorrow will have enough worry of its own. Instead, deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Him. He says that He is the way, the truth, and the life and that we can abide in Him. Again, a simple thing that I often seem to find some way to make difficult.

The Windy City

Last week I had the great priviledge of heading north to some much cooler weather and enjoying a few days in Chicago. We went to the Willow Creek Small Groups Conference and enjoyed a great time listening to guys like Erwin McManus and Donald Miller. It was also special in that it was the first trip Kaley and I have gone on together without the little ones. It was hard to leave them but they had a wonderful time at "Fama's" (as gabe says) house. They got to see cows, ride Fama's tractor, and take some walks in the park. Thank you Fama!

The last afternoon we were there we went downtown to see the sights with our friends who hadn't been there before. We walked by Buckingham fountain, up the Magnificant Mile, and finished it off with a deep dish Gino's East pizza. If you haven't been downtown since 2004, you need to go check out Millenium park. We spent the bulk of our time checking out the new outdoor theater, the oversized chrome bean, and enjoying the fountain that you can walk through, it's really cool!

Immanuel

Some friends of mine are planting a church. They're reaching out to a community that is far from God and for the most part have no interest in drawing very close. Because of the negative experiences that they've had with the church and/or church folk, it's no wonder. I'm so excited that my friends have decided to dedicate their lives to helping these folks know that the God of the Universe, the Creator of heaven and earth, the God who created each and every one of us, loves them deeply and passionately and longs to know them.

I can only imagine the difficulty of the task that lies before my friends. Listening to them describe it, I think they are overwhelmed by the enormity of it, but absolutely and passionately committed to giving the rest of their lives to letting their new friends know how much God loves them.

They know that the reality of them making a difference in their new community will only happen by the grace and presence of God. In fact, they believe this so strongly that they've decided to name their church plant based on this very fact. It's called Immanuel. God with us. I love this. It isn't some gimicky way of trying to get God to bless whatever they feel or decided to do. Instead, they humbly recognize that without God, it doesn't really matter what they feel or decide to do. It only matters that God is with them. And if He is, then they will go and do whatever they must to let His children know how much He loves them.

And so my friends, may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him. May you be a blessing to your community, to the new friends that He will bring into your lives, and may they see the truth, the power, and the reality of the love of Jesus living in you. I love you and am praying for you.

Back in the saddle

Well, to say the least it's been awhile. I got out of the habit of blogging, I guess that is a sign of my lack of discipline or of being a true blogger. But I'm back in the saddle and ready to give it another go. I also have had a lot going on lately and I'm needing a place to sort some stuff out so I thought, why not do that on the internet? What better place could there be?

Gabe is growing up way too fast. He is now speaking in word combinations, like "Dada choochoo", which depending on where we are is either, "Dad, there's a firetruck" or "Dad, theres a choo choo train." Either way that phrase is typically followed up with "Scare you." He is a smart little rascal. He really puts stuff together quickly, and when you tell him something, he remembers. I think he gets that from his mom, she has an amazing memory.

He has also become a jumper. Just today I came home to find him waking up from his nap and K had gone in to get him up. They were joking together, he was holding on to the side of the crib and jumping up and down on his mattress. At some point K would say, "We all fall down" and he would crash down onto his bed. It was really cute, he's a funny little guy.

I also get a kick out of him because I am beginning to see some of the same dynmaics between he and I that I have with my own dad. I love to hug and kiss on him, just like my dad did on me. But what's funny is that he is not a snuggler. He never has been. Even when he was really little, about the only time he'd snuggle with you was when you were feeding him a bottle. But I love to grab him now and hug and kiss and he squirms away, laughing and giggling. I guess I can see now why my dad did that to me all the time. Something about holding your kid and kissing on him and laughing together, it's an amazing thing.

And Hallie? Holy guacamole, that girl has got me wrapped. Now, she is a cuddler, just like her daddy. She loves to be held and to snuggle and to pull in close to you. Sometimes K will bring her in and lay her down with me in the morning when I'm just waking up and Hallie will just talk. She's really trying to learn to sit up, it's really cute. She looks like she's making a commercial for Ab Crunches. She's ready for solid food to, she watches K and me like a hawk whenever we're eating. She is ready to take on a new challenge!

I must confess that I sometimes get sad, I've even shed a tear or two when I think about how these days won't always be around. One day Gabe and Hallie will be too cool for dad, one day there will be friends to see and events to go to, just like when I was a kid. They will grow up and move to new stages in life. Somehow, though, I don't know if I will ever grow out of this stage as a dad. I have a hard time imagining myself not looking at Gabe as my little boy that I can hug and kiss on, that I can tackle and roll around with on the floor as he squirms out of my arms. Or seeing Hallie as my baby girl that I can sweep up in my arms and hug and squeeze and cover with kisses on those precious little cheeks. But you know, I'm okay with that. I love being a dad. I love kissing on my son and snuggling with my daughter. They are both so precious to me, I wouldn't trade these days for ANYTHING!

More than words

Do you ever struggle to come up with what to say? Are you ever in a moment where you know you should say something meaningful, even something at all, and the moment comes and goes and you stand there speechless like an idiot? I seem to be having those moments a lot lately and I wonder if I'm losing my mind. I've been calling people the wrong name at the wrong time, or saying one thing when I mean another, or just plain fumbling over my words altogether. Seems I have this Achilles heal with overanalyzing everything that comes out of my mouth. I wish I could say it's taking each thought captive for Christ, but that wouldn't be honest. I'd like to think I measure my words, but in reality it's more like I measure, weigh, test, edit, revise, etc. Then I'm lucky if I say anything at all. Why is that? I mean, even now, as I write this, I've already made a few edits. Yeah, I know, I'm a weirdo.

I have some friends going through a hard time right now. I want so desperately to say something meaningful, but I come up empty so I don't say much, anything really, at all. I sit still and hope they know how I feel. It's making me nuts. I feel like a loser friend, which probably isn't too far off. Everyone knows it's not about me saying something to fix it, so why is the need to do that so powerful? As a counselor I talk to people about presence and not words when comforting others in hard times. If I've said that once I've said it a hundred times. Yet as easy as it comes out to others, just as easily it seems to vanish into thin air in my own life.

Well, they say the first step is to confess, so here it is: I don't know what to say. Anything I try seems to cheapen or simplify...nothing sounds or seems right...

That's good Karl because it's not about you. It's not about how you feel or what you think, it's about them. Can you let this be about them?

Good question.

Taken hold

I’ve been thinking about a lesson I was listening to a few weeks back over Philippians 3. The preacher remarked about the significance of being “taken hold of” by Christ. He shared how the only way we can hope to live the life that Jesus promised is if we live by His strength, if we’re “taken hold” by the strength He provides and not depending upon our own. He shared how he was “taken hold” by his wife and kids, that because of them he strove to be a better man than perhaps he’d be without them.

That idea really resonated with me. Perhaps because I’m recently a father for the second time, but the reality of who I am and who I want to be is on my mind a lot these days. I’m seeing the need for Christ in my life and ministry in ways that I haven’t before, and I’m wondering what if anything has the power to change me and my selfish heart --- and then I’m reminded by Paul’s words, that the answer doesn’t exist in my will power or ability to work harder, but only in being taken hold of by the strength and grace of the One by whom, and to whom, and through whom all things are made and held together. Amen!

Membership has its privileges

I got a gift certificate from a friend to a store here in town. They offer a discount to "members" of this store, but to purchase a membership would use up most of the gift certificate. I can still purchase items without the membership, but at a higher rate, of course. I don't want a membership, I just want to use my gift certificate.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Here are a couple more photos. No membership fee required!


Isn't she lovely, isn't she wonderful...


The new family photo!