Why do we resist the very things we need? I wonder why many of my struggles aren't the result of not knowing what to do, but instead knowing what to do but not wanting to do it. Have you ever noticed that? The one thing we know we should do we don't want to do. I'm surprised at how strong my own will is sometimes to just shut down the Spirit's presence in me, to quench God's work in me. It makes me wonder how infinite God's patience and grace is. It also reminds me that me by my own sheer will or knowledge or elbow grease, I simply can't get the job done.
At the end of each day, God knows what's best. He really does. And yet he never flaunts it or holds it against me. I know this and believe this and yet I still struggle with it. For example, I see my friends hurting over their child who is struggling with serious health problems. I know they are strong believers and love God and are really good people. I know their suffering isn't the result of some mistake or anything on their own part. So why the suffering? Why the pain and heartache and tears? How does this fit into the plan? Why does this happen to anyone? Any answer that I can come up with is way too simple. It doesn't explain away the hurt or pain or struggle they as well as countless others experience every day. It causes me to rethink what it means to come to Jesus and never thirst again or hunger again. What does this look like in the face of great pain and hardship? Seems like I keep ending up with more questions than answers. I know in the end it will come together and we'll see, but I wish I could see something now - it makes it hard to sleep sometimes.
Lord, please bless my friends, may they know how much you love them. Lord, bless those who I don't know, who face great struggle everyday. Plese help me not resist so much the work of your Spirit but instead in humilty to submit to your leadership and trust in you, not in my own understanding.
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