A lonely road...

There is perhaps not a more difficult topic to deal with in the world today than the problem of pain. Why do bad things happen? Why do kids suffer? Why do natural disasters ravage communities and take lives? If God is loving and caring, why would he allow these things to happen?

I guess right now I still have more questions than answers. I've been thinking about this because our church, during this season of Lent, has been reflecting on the story in the gospel of Luke of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. Last week our focus was on verses 25-27 of chapter 24:

He (Jesus) said to them, "How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?" And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

Jesus, though they didn't recognize it was him at the time, explained why he had to suffer and die on the cross and how Scripture from the begining had pointed toward this. It got us talking about the suffering that we face in the world today and why that is. We spoke about suffering for making bad decisions, suffering for someone else's bad decisions, and then suffering that seems to be for no apparent reason at all.

Interestingly enough, the next day this same conversation came up in another circle of friends of mine to which one person referenced the story in John 9 about the man born blind and Jesus' disciples asking him (Jesus) about who sinned to cause the suffering in the man's life, his parents or him? Jesus said that niether his parents' nor his sin caused this, but it happened so that the work of God would be shown through his life.

So that got me thinking about whether I really believed that. Not did I believe Jesus' words, but did I believe my friend's interpretation of Jesus' words. Or maybe it was about believeing Jesus' words. Do I believe what he said, that God allowed this to happen so that His work might be displayed in this man's life?

On one hand, I can easily say yes to this question. I've experienced struggles in my life that I did not cause, they simply happened to me and I had to deal with them. Going through them has made me stronger, wiser, perhaps at times cynical, but I really think in the long run they have inspired a great amount of personal growth.

But then there are things that happen that I don't know what to do with. Things not necessarily to me, but they happen to other people, and it doesn't make much sense. Take for example this --- I'm listening to the radio today and I hear about a women who has entered into a contract with her boyfriend, a contract that says he can have sex with her 15 year old daughter while she (the mom) recovers from her surgery and can't have sex with him. She does this why? Because she's afraid she'll lose her boyfriend. What's in it for the daughter? Well, she gets to stay out late, gets some extra allowance, as well as she can spend a few nights over at her boyfriends house. As you can imagine, this thing ends because the daughter ends up attempting suicide twice, spends a few weeks in a psychiatric hospital, and will be in therapy for who knows how long trying to figure things out. Now what in the world is that about?

All I can think about is why? Why does this happen? The John 9 reference my friend made doesn't seem to make much sense to me here. I mean I know that she's experiencing the consequences of terrible decisions and choices the adults in her life made. But why does she have to deal with it in the first place? I hear the usual answers in my head that I've heard since I was a kid, but they're not very helpful.

I believe that God is a God of grace and love and hope. I believe that Jesus desperately cared for people, so much so that he was willing to die for them. I believe that only he is the way, the truth, and the life. Though I must admit, it's in times like this that I wish I could have been on that road to Emmaus. Do you ever feel that way?

365 Days and counting...

It's hard to believe that "Hawwie D" (as she's affectionately known by Gabe) is already a year old today. It seems like it was just yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital. Times seems to fly, especcially ith the second kiddo. She's made some pretty amazing strides, especially over the past 2 months. She's on the verge of her first word and she's already taken her first step...looking foward to the next one!

Hallie, we love you sweet girl, and we pray that your loving spirit and tender heart will continue to shine through, and that you and Gabe have a blast together tag-teaming your mom and me this next year.

Father, thank you for this precious little one, in whom we find so much joy. We love her and commit to raising her to know and love you!

Can you smell the rubber burning?

A lot has been rolling around in the old noggin' lately and nothing seems to be coming together. I was hoping to use this season of Lent as a way to get back in the grove of journaling and reflecting on life and yet each time I stop to write I can't seem to sit still long enough to express a thought.

I've been reading an amazing book called Banker to the Poor, the story of Muhammed Yumus, the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize winner. If you haven't read it I'd highly reccommend it to you. It's stirred a lot of questions in me, and surprised me by it's simplicity and boldness.

I've been thinking about the vision and direction of our ministry, where God wants us to go and what He is wanting me to do. I've been thinking about this series we're studying with our college students focused on putting others first. I'm reminded each week when I stand up to teach of how much more I need the lessons than they do.

I've been wondering why it is that there seems to be a saturation point when it comes to growing up in the church. You kind of hit this level to where you've been around long enough to hear most of the stories and sing most of the songs so that the new stuff is never really that new and the old stuff is taken for granted. I wonder why it is that I want to expect more from those who have been around the church the longest but what I find is that it's often those folks that have the most demands and complaints. I guess that's a pretty serious generalization, perhaps unfair, but it sure feels that way a lot right now.

I'm also wondering if what I gave up for Lent is really something that I wanted to sacrifice to God and give to Him as an offering or if I'm doing it because it's a convenient thing to give up because I'm wanting to get back in shape and stop eating like I'm invincible.

Well, I guess that's about it for now. What are you thinking about these days?