More than words

Do you ever struggle to come up with what to say? Are you ever in a moment where you know you should say something meaningful, even something at all, and the moment comes and goes and you stand there speechless like an idiot? I seem to be having those moments a lot lately and I wonder if I'm losing my mind. I've been calling people the wrong name at the wrong time, or saying one thing when I mean another, or just plain fumbling over my words altogether. Seems I have this Achilles heal with overanalyzing everything that comes out of my mouth. I wish I could say it's taking each thought captive for Christ, but that wouldn't be honest. I'd like to think I measure my words, but in reality it's more like I measure, weigh, test, edit, revise, etc. Then I'm lucky if I say anything at all. Why is that? I mean, even now, as I write this, I've already made a few edits. Yeah, I know, I'm a weirdo.

I have some friends going through a hard time right now. I want so desperately to say something meaningful, but I come up empty so I don't say much, anything really, at all. I sit still and hope they know how I feel. It's making me nuts. I feel like a loser friend, which probably isn't too far off. Everyone knows it's not about me saying something to fix it, so why is the need to do that so powerful? As a counselor I talk to people about presence and not words when comforting others in hard times. If I've said that once I've said it a hundred times. Yet as easy as it comes out to others, just as easily it seems to vanish into thin air in my own life.

Well, they say the first step is to confess, so here it is: I don't know what to say. Anything I try seems to cheapen or simplify...nothing sounds or seems right...

That's good Karl because it's not about you. It's not about how you feel or what you think, it's about them. Can you let this be about them?

Good question.